a quick little tale about my fucking baseball team: LES EXPOS

the battlecry of the monteal expos is VIVE LES EXPOS!!@#

the expos live.

and why is that their cry?!@

THE EXPOS LIVE!!@#$

funny that a team that would die an infamous death would have that battlecry when they were alive... oh well.

baseball been vewwy vewwy good to me i mean COME THE FUCK ON WHO SAW VLAD VALIDATE MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE AS A FAN OF THE MAN WHO WILL SOMEDAY BE THE NAMESAKE OF THE VLADIMIR ALVINO GUERRERO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL IN CHICAGO IL?!@

fret not montreal and LA, vlad's got plenty of love to go around... cuz while vlad can just as easily get himself out by being like "fuck this i'm vlad and i'm sick of taking walks i'mma swing for the fences i dont care where the pitch is" at the same time, when he bats in this postseason, put on espnradio nad listen... i have a feeling miller/morgan/phillips might supercede schulman and soup but i hope not, i think the ALCS will have schuman and soup... listen to baseball announcers gush over vladimir guerrero.

most dont say he's the best, but when you get into baseball circles people just smile when you talk about vlad... he's so respected that he doesnt even do postgame interviews... you leave vlad alone. he's just here to impale first pitches with the game on the line, and thats all he does. oh and make 15 mil a year and have an awesome life... did you know he brings teammates over to his house for homecooked meals by his mother!?@

VLADIMIR GUERRERO: a man who could have played baseball in the 30s and been considered on par with any legend you can think up, but we have him now. in this era of steroids (hey pujols, you're an asshole, hence your last name) he was the one guy you could believe in cuz like.... look at him. he's the fucking dude.

and when it's all said and done, he'll be the third and final expo in teh hall of fame behind andre dawson and pedro martinez, and that's your little club... the expos never won a world series, but they were THE FARM SYSTEM TO BASEBALL. oh wait... they were gonna win a world series, in 1994. my badass uncle who's #27 RF big badass arm and a baseball fucking genius (he told me that 75% of the time the first pitch on a 3-2 count is a foul ball... i was like hell naw... but he's write) calls the 1994 expos the best team of the 90s. they were gonna play the whitesox in the world series... but i never happened. and when the firesale started loria bought the expos the expos fans packed a shitty park when their team was the shit... then a strike comes and their year is wiped out. and when they come back wetteland is winning titles on the yankees, then the team is systematically dismantled everyone is traded away... then a kid named guerrero comes up and only a few thousand diehard fans go... steroid ridden losers never brought them back... they had standards... they packed a shitty ballpark to watch the legendary 94 expos and their thanks was a strike borne of greed and it's like WTF YOU FUCKED UP OUR YEAR THEN STARTED DISMANTLING THE BEST TEAM OF THE 90S?!@ FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. see cubs fans show up even jim hendry makes dumbass moves like milton bradley... btw he started with the expos. thats why he has baseball acumen. ozzie guillen started coaching and managing with the expos and went with loria to the marlins... that's why he's the most underrated tactical manager in baseball. the motherfucking montreal expos were the realest team in baseball, so real in fact they were dismantled torn apart trading grady sizemore cliff lee and brandon phillips, the future of the franchise, for a 1/2 season of bartolo colon in a walk year, so this way the team would go for as cheap as possible... then when loria bought the marlins he took the expos farm system so the nationals wouldnt have that beloved farm system... and look at the marlins and their young talent. uggla, the seasoning of hanley ramirez, liberated from the redsox, umm the pitchers... grandpa bettis' guy ricky nolasco, anibal sanchez, josh johnson... those are neo-expos in the marlins system.... and the zombified remains sent to the nations capital for as cheap as possible, and welp, i got love for everyone... but it makes me smile to see the nationals have the worst record in baseball every year. and i think they're going to suck for a long long time and never win a title. but hey, at least they play baseball, and baseball isn't about winning and losing, although who am i shitting 09 ANGELS BABY YES IT'S ABOUT WINNING EVERY NOW AND THEN WHEN YOU KNOW ITS TIME, but in the end, my favorite baseball games are at the end of a year when a team's out of the pennant race and playing another team done.. it's september and the callups are up and the people there arent bandwagoners, the crowds are sparse, you can move around, cuz all the people there arent taking out dates to a hot ticket, not there for some promotion or whatever... they do odd things at these baseball games: THEY'RE THERE TO WATCH BASEBALL.

you know, those expos they had two radio broadcasts did the expos, one in english, one in french... and la stade olympique is the worst place to see a game... i lie and tell people i went there in 02 cuz i had the idea but didnt pull the trigger... but i know i will see plenty of games at la stade olympique someday. yes.


FARM SYSTEM TO BASEBALL BABY?!@ where did randy johnson come from?!@ larry walker?!@ gary carter (good. go in as a met, if you diss the expos you're an idiot. pedro's prolly gonna be like "whoa, the expos sprung me from teh dodgers, who passed up on vlad cuz they needed wilton, and after i got my cy young they sent me to boston immediately... they built me up into a badass pitcher... i rolled with a midget when i won the world series in 04... you know what?!2 i'm going to go in as an expo cuz i mean there's andre dawson and then there's vlad and in baseball history the three most badass expos ever, andre dawson pedro and vlad, there's your club"

and if vlad goes in as an angel, which he wont, i've already told the story of how he got signed... he'll want to thank the expos for giving him the chance to play baseball and the angels wont be salty... they'll understand.

the expos are legendary, they're badass... and i'm the guy who has had the aim name "thelastexpo" held down since 2001 =P =P =P

* high five *