Sunday, August 30, 2009

A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR JOBA.... JOBA THE HUTT.

(upon seeing joba chamberlain dropped by the guy whos gonna win our league, i had to drop this nugget)

palacial one, remember you tried to dump joba on me for uggla?!@ ha. steve stone gave uggla props in his rookie year and steve stone is like top myspace friend btw join the 10+ fine bitches (including the megan fox doppleganger who called me sinicalypse last night... read up @ --- http://forum.watmm.com/topic/48524-adventures-in-rapping-special-revenge-of-the-nerd-edition/ )
but like, as i told you, joba needs to be the heir apparent to rivera... he cant get to 98 consistently as a starter, moreover 93-94, and everything that made him the badass piece of dude he was is gone, there's nothing htere... yankees, throw 100 mil at anoither middling guy and figure your bandbox is gonna allow you to overspend on bats and win... that's why you intentionally built it that way yet you'll be like OH WE DIDNT KNOW HOW THE WIND BLOWS WITH TEH ANGLES OF THE SEATS AND STUFF.

dumbasses we are not. you spend 1 billion on a ballpark and hey its the biggest bandbox in baseball like citizens bank park in philly is crying over its loss of boss status in that regard, just like new comiskey did when the vet 2.0 was built. i mean i get it, you know, i used to hate yankees fans until i went out to yankee stadium last year on sept 15th, like, yankees fans have mad respect for other fans who know their shit... AND THEY FEAR US ANGELS FANS. oh man i got so much respect for my angels hat bionic commando shirt and vlad jersey i'm forever a yankee fan, i mean, i get it. they blast the evil empire star wars theme before the pregame, and jeter's jay-z laden intro is HANDS DOWN THE BEST IN BASEBALL. nothing is close.

and oh man the fried chicken joint on 163rd... holy fuck. you can get some bombass bird fries and a milkshake for $7ish. dude thats love.

as for joba, well, you're seeing that i'm right. i have no interest in him as a starter, if he got back up to 98 and was that badass bullpen guy i'd use him for ERA/WHIP/Ks/wins/in--case-mo-gets-hurt(yeah right, seen his wife?!@ man. him and jorge posada dont fuck around hip hip JORGE foreal man i'll even go as far as pelvis pelvis pelvis JORGE'S WIFE)

so like, it's a sad day in the fantasy baseball universe. the custless wonders are winning this league like they didnt get shouted out in an OG underground rap track by a burgeoning legend who he's chilled with at a sox game before:

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f283/sinicalypse/palace400.jpg

(the caption is "lord knows somebody has to")

so yeah dude, it's a pleasure to watch you win the league again and hey 2nd place service to the name james like thanks for ethier... i figure you're on my rapping jock and your offense is so fuckyeah so you shared the love to help me out. i appreciate that dude, i think its too late to play football together but hey god willing we'll be playing baseball again next spring/summer/fall and i wont fuck it up... seriously, i wont be hung over from getting laid the night before... i'll put the bitch on my lap and straight fuck her during the first 20 rounds, like, watch me draft miggy montero next year. i'm calling my shot.

MY PLAYERS ARE AS FOLLOWS, IF SOMEHOW YOU END UP WITH THEM I AM GOING TO GET THEM FROM YOU EVEN IF I HAVE TO BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE LOG IN AS YOU AND TRADE THEM TO MYSELF:

- miguel montero
- ricky romero
- tommy hanson / tommy hunter
- carlos zambrano and vlad (duh. that's every year massive even if they end up sucking near the end of their careers. i win with my guys, i lose with my guys)
- kevin youkilis (when porcello backed down like the 20 year old 6'5" ironically little bitch that he is, well, that's my first baseman, rain or shine. cuz like, with baseball there's so many wins and losses up and down in the end you look for things to enjoy aside from the outcome, adn the inexorable force of baseball fuckyes known as kevin youkilis has just become a permanent rockstar for the rest of his career)
- rajai davis: norse god of the stolen base
- michael bourn: who drafted him this year?!@ thassss riiiiight.
- aaron hill (since day 1 in this league. since day ~4-5 in my 3 others)
- everth cabrera (imma say he's got the baddest lisp on this side of method man... say it... EVERTHHHHHHH)
- need i even say gordon fucking beckham?!@ he's mine, hands off.

you know, if this was a keeper league and i started off next year with this team, do you have any idea how fucked you'd be?!@

so cop the style try to get my guys... but you've got not just a cunning adversary in me, but a balls out briilliant one... i would have won this league if i was at the draft when it actually started. i've played my ass off but cant make up for the fact i dont have fielder utley howard pujols braun or ~2-3 for-sure early round "didnt take santana" type draft picks, so next year guys, next year... just think by then i can even come by when im on tour and we'll all do a tigers game. promise. it's on me =D

hasta

# theeeee foreal james, like lebron or richard deee

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