i abhor dusty baker

hate isn't a strong enough word.

ladies and gents, or actually nobody cuz nobody DOES read this crappy un-updated BLAWG, please excuse me. i tried not to swear in this blog, i've tried to be civil.. ideally, i wanted to be more active here and use this to practice writing baseball reviews/capsules/columns as kind of a portfolio for what i can do in the pipe dream that i could ever get a sports job.

that said, i'm going to shoot from the hip here, and i'm not inhibitng my language at all.

i completely fucking loathe dusty baker.

when he came here it was a feelgood buzz, theres that semi-famous "my name is dusty, not messiah" quote, and you knew that he was a players' manager who was bad with handling his pitching staffs.

now as year two of THE DUSTY BAKER EXPERIENCE wraps up, i've been more than exposed to the truth of the situaton. dusty baker is a sick joke of a baseball manager.

his in game strategy is beyond terrible. before the cubs went to do-or-die time, he'd augment the lineup and continue giving starts to ramon martinez, jose macias, and other people.

before i go into this, i will give dusty credit for ONE thing: by playing his bench guys, at the espense of at-the-time-inconsequential-games, but now immensely important games in retrospect, he gives them a boost of confidence and gets things like a week of a hot neifi perez when garciaparra nurses a sore groin for a week. macias gets a clutch pinch hit. hell even bako, the impotnet offensive bat, helps call games that gets prior's groove back.

THAT'S IT. that'sa ll the good i can say about him.

dusty is an enabler. dusty is an apologist. dusty is a piece of shit who will never ever admit that he's wrong. he''ll defend his players no matter how asinine they act, and he'll make horrible decisions in clutch 1 run games that help the team beat themselves.

yeah, the manager doesnt throw the pitches. yeah, the manager doesnt swing the stick. but hte manager sets the mood for the team, he sets hte baseline down. he is supposed to make players ACCOUNTABLE for their actions, performance, etc... he's supposed to take his players nad put them in the best situation to help the team WIN games.

dusty doenst do that. he gets his guys, gives them roles, and keeps them there. he wont force old veterans to bunt because they've never done it. he won't replace latroy hawkins as the closer when he's 2/10 in converting one run save opportunities because "he's [his] closer" and then he rambles on about how he wouldn't want to play for a manager who pulls you when things get rough.

DUSTY, THIS IS THE WHOLE FUCKING SEASON RIGHT HERE. THESE ARE MUST-WIN GAMES.

to further insult us, dusty says all this shit when things are going well.... "they call me the planner" (WHO calls you that, dusty? he never told us) "it's time for me to be a proactive manager" etc etc

he talks all this shit, he talks himself up, then he doesnt act like he said he does, but in the end when you ask why they failed "i don't know, dude... i don't know man... if i knew, it wouldn't be like this"

but you're the almighty proactive planner dusty! you told us so weeks ago when things are going well! how could you not know whats going on if you're hte goddamn planner?

dusty baker treats us, the fans whose money we spend on this team pays his millions of dollars per year, like imbeciles. he feeds us all this crap about being the planner, he vehemently defends hawkins because he'd never pull a guy out when he has some trouble... he wouldn't want to play for a manager who is going to hold him ACCOUNTABLE for his bad performance and possibly take him out of a crucial role thats pivotal to the team's playoff hopes.

so using htat logic, if one of his pitchers gives up 9 runs in the first inning, why does he pull him? you dont want to play for a manager who yanks you when things start to go bad? oh wait, dusty does pull guys out in that situation. i bet his answer would be "i don't know, dude... i don't know, man... if i knew this wouldn't have happened"

from day one of the season when asked about steroids, to game 160 about corey patterson's slump, or to even the burgeoning steve stone controversy, one thing is constant about baker: "i don't know, man... i don't know, dude"

he always says that. always. in every situation. it's almost 100% of the time followed by "if i did know, [whatever bad thing happened] wouldn't be happening"

you make 4 million dollars per year. and a rumor from an inside source says the cubs paid you the entire 16 mil up front... YOU ARE PAID THESE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO KNOW! YOU ARE THE GODDAMN MANAGER OF AN IMMENSELY TALENTED, IF NOT FLAWED, TEAM THAT IS, ON PAPER, CONSIDERABLY BETTER THAN THE ASTROS, GIANTS, OR DODGERS. LET ALONE THE CINCINNATI REDS AND THE MEANINGLESS-GAMES-LINEUP OF THE ATLANTA BRAVES!

dusty is a con artist who has wasted both the time nad money of cubs fans. wrigley got over 3 million in attendance in their park (realistically, they probably got about 1.5 to 2.5 million people, but remember that 38,000 one day and 38,000 the other day are not completely different people).. hell, i was homeless and i had severe financial difficulties but i found a way to spend $30 and go to a friday afternoon game for this team.

and my thanks, along wiht all the other fans, is a manager playing dumb? a manager who never says "i screwed up, my bad, i'll never do it agian". moreover a manager who defends every single action he makes and then rationalizes why he'll do it again and again adn again?

not all of us are ron santo, dusty. not all of us are complete cubs apologists who live in denial of the shortcomings of the nasty core of hte cubs (hawkins, sosa, mercker, alou) who have gone out of their way to pick fights with the media, the fans, the umpires, just about anyone else other than themselves, who are clearly to blame.

why did this team lose? i'll tell you why: because the umpires are out to get the cubs, most specifically moises alou. because the cubs tv announcers are too critical of the cubs team, constantly pointing out mistakes that they make, constantly shunning praise of the offense in favor of the pitching, and even worse, THEY DARE TO COMPLEMENT OPPOSING PLAYERS WHO ARE WHIPPING THEIR ASS! that's enough to make any athlete cower in fear and mentally break down.

you know, actually, i squarely blame this season steve stone. how can these guys perform when their own announcer constantly berates them? i bet he gets i ntheir heads on the planes, i bet he leaves threatening messages on their answering machines... he actually gets on the dugout phone and disses latroy hawkins before he warms up.

clearly, steve stone is the pariah who should be axed. once you get rid of the naysayers, the team will be infinitely imporved.

you know what got to me even more than all of this? after stone's critical remarks about the cubs on TV, o nthe radio, and in press... DUSTY BAKER INTERPRETED IT AS A PERSONAL ATTACK! he diverted attention from the baseball issues stone raised and dove in headfirst into the steve stone mess... guess what he said: "i don't know dude... i dont have a problem with him, i don't know, man, ask him, i don't know... i just dont know"

so an important meeting with the cubs top brass and steve stone today, talking about his "personal attack on baker" and what is baker doing this morning... researching the braves? seeing the splits on a bench player like dewayne wise who could have a pinch hit situation in the 8th inning, or better yet, maybe a spot start because this other guy has the flu?" DOES THE PLANNER DO ANYTHING BUT PLAN AHEAD FOR A MAKE-OR-BREAK GAME?

nope. he attends a meeting about steve stone's baseball commentary.

dusty has undoubtedly started planting the seeds of a steve stone personal vendetta, and all stone did was analyze the game and voice his obvious malcontent with dusty baker's idiotic managing that basically served up the game to the reds on a platter in the top of the 12th inning?

NOPE. he's more concerned with having an announcer who clearly knows more tha nhim, and after a year of dusty enabling players to get away with total crap like phoning up the booth to bitch at steve stone, letting his players rip them in the media, well, he's more concerned about that announcer basically proclaiming that the announcer was right and the manager was wrong.

dusty has infiltrated this organization and made it a lax lackluster doubletalking joke. they have arguably the most talent in baseball, yet they pull a fucking wannstedt and cant even make the playoffs with the most strikeouts (pitching-wise) in the NL, the most homeruns in the NL, probably the #2 or #3 EA in all of baseball... nope, at 9am today the almighty planner is in a meeting with cubs brass obviously voicing his malcontent with steve stone going out and basically telling the world that dusty made the wrong decisions, while he, before the plays folded out, probably made the right ones.

it's not second guessing dusty when you call it before the play happens.

dusty baker is a fucking joke. he's a stubborn egotistical ignorant man who masks all of his inadequacies with doubletalk (example: it's time for me to be a proactive manager, but i'm going to stick with 2/10 in 1 run save ops latroy hawkins as my closer because he's my closer, and i dont lose faith in guys who run into a little trouble)

if steve stone leaves after this season, i will not forgive the cubs until dusty baker is long gone. if dusty makes a power play to essentially censor the best color man in all of the baseball-announcing world so he can continue to show up in his millionaires' country club and desperately hope that his great players bail him out from having to do anything at all, while still boasting that he's a winner, that he's known as the planner, that he's proactive...

i mean, the core of players who dusty has enabled to make the cubs an unlikeable team as a whole are moises alou, latroy hawkins, kent mercker, and sammy sosa. i don't want to dislike the cubs. i saw mark prior's first-ever MLB start in 2002 and i've been a big fan of prior since that day. i really like aramis ramirez, who is the offensive cornerstone of this team for the next 5-8 years. i really like carloz zambrano, who can act like a loon sometimes, but who is a tremendous pitcher who i think can blossom to be the best pitcher on the team, unless prior ends up pitching like he did yesterday for a whole season, or basically like he did in 2003. hell i even like farnsworth, the ripped alcoholic sleeping-in-the-dugout guy... and hell, i even like derrek lee, who is perhaps the worst .300/30/100 guy i've ever seen at the plate. he cannot come through in the clutch, and he always seems like he doesnt care too much about teh game, but hey, he's an amazingly good defensive first basemen.

i dont want to hate a team with those aforementioned players, but my hate, my abhorrence, my disdain for dusty baker supercedes all of that. from this day on i refuse to pull for any team that dusty baker manages, that is, if my suspicions that dusty pulled a power-play to be rid of an extremely inteligent analytical announcer who dared to question dusty and his "you're either with us or against us" mentality-laden club.

dusty turned a surefire playoff team and a legitimate world series contender team into a mediocre above .500 group whose biggest lasting impression of 2004 will be all the "controversies" that happened. alou calling out the broadcasters and bitching at umpires after what seems like his 100th caught-looking strikeout. that mental image of alou turning around and angrily barking at the umpires burned in my head... oh wait, the best part? recently when alou told reporters that there's a conspiracy against him, that all the umpires have banded together and call pitches that are so bad strikes that he'll have to swing at everything because they're out to get him... dusty responded, and i'm paraphrasing, "don't we live in a country where we're free to speak whatever we want? didn't our founding fathers fight to give us the right o say whatever we want? i dont know about you, but i dont want to live in a place where people cant speak their minds free speech, man we boast that we have these rights but when someone speaks their mind, they're criticized for doing that? it doesnt make sense man
besides, i think there's some merit to what he's saying"

can you believe that crap? he completely enabled alou to come out and say completely stupid shit like that... and then capped it off by saying alou's argument had merit, as that word is a direct quote.

mercker calls up to the broadcast booth when chip and steve complement roy oswalt on shutting down the cubs, and i dont remember dusty's response, but i'd bet my mortgage that the phrase "i don't know, man/dude" was in there.

hawkins blows up and has the audacity to suggest that his 0-2 fastball waist high and in the middle of the plate, a grooved pitch if i ever did see one, was a "garbage pitch", and if he were to throw a slider on 0-2, all of the reporters/fans would say "why didn't you throw another fastball in the exact same place"

LATROY, YOU DON'T THROW THREE FUCKING FASTBALLS IN THE SAME LOCATION ALL IN A ROW TO MAJOR LEAGUE HITTERS. KIDS IN SPECIAL-ED LITTLE LEAGUE DO THAT, NOT MILLIONAIRE PROFESSIONALS.

latroy basically said that whatever he does, the media is going to chastise him, so basically he is free of all blame due to that fact. oh, and he added in that you have to tip your cap to austin kearns for hitting that pitch for the game-tying RBI double.

you know what happened? latroy got to two outs, had one on, and when he was 0-2 on kearns he got cocky. he basically grooved him a fastball with the mentality that "you can't hit this, bitch" and you know what? the reds AA tean;'s stadium is nicknamed "the house that kearns built"... when he first came up he was a top 5 of ALL OF MLB prospect. sure he's had a horrible injury plagued year (~.245/8/30? something around there)... but the kid is immensely talented. besides, i bet even rey ordonez could do something with that pitch, especially when the first two pitches were also fastballs right down the pipe. YOU THREW HIM THREE NEARLY IDENTICAL PITCHES LIKE A BATTING CAGE PITCHING MACHINE!

and yet, he has the audacity to take no responsibility or blame for what he does, because, obviously, us assholes who can't do what he does (but remember, he can do what we do) would ride him if he threw an 0-2 slider, or if he threw an 0-2 fastball. see, we're unreasonable, we're horrible, and of course, we're to blame because latroy is up there and thinking "if i throw a slider the fans will ridicule me! i'd better throw a fastball"

sammy sosa, well i could probably make a whole entire post about his dumb now-off-steroids-and-coincidentally-completely-worthless sss... he's played like shit all year, and he acts all defiant when he made a game saving diving catch last friday, like see you all critcize me but i'm great and fuck you! the epitome of sammy sosa's entire season this year will be in a game that they ended up losing to the mets by one run (hawkins gave up a 3 run game-tying home run to victor diaz, who has all of 3-4 home runs, on guess what? an 0-2 fastball almost grooved right down the middle of hte plate), he hit a ball that he thought was a home run. he left the batter's box and did his trademark sammy hop, and because he did that, he got thrown out when the ball landed in the gap, and he tried to ensure that he had a double because he would have looked terrible if he only got a single on a surefire double because he did the hop. well, he still technically got his single, but then he got put out. that sums it all up.

tho one bright spot is that the cubs axed his personal trainer, oh wait, i'm sorry, personal trainers were banned this year, so the cubs fired their, uh, radar-gun operator / sammy's great friend julian martinez... sammy is 110% all about respect, pride, and getting his due. he made it a giant issue that the cubs retain his guy because he's THE GREAT SAMMY SOSA and the cubs are to bow to his every wish and kiss hsi feet and do whatever sammy wants.

well the dipshit martinez got in some sort of an altercation in one of the wrigley parking lots, so they canned him. two days later, stone drops the ominous major personnel move on monday / the end of the year thing, and now the scout who brought sosa into the majors in texas, omar minaya, is managing the mets. sosa to the mets.

getting rid of sosa would symbolize an amazing development for the cubs, as it ends an era where superficial fans tolerated losing but loved seeing sammy hit one... and it ushers in an era of successful baseball.

however, even if you get rid of sosa, the team is liable to collapse.. dusty's 1998 san fran giants collapsed, enabling the 98 cubs to beat them i na 1 game playoff for the wild card. his 2002 giants collapsed in games 6 and 7 of the WS (after dusty gave the game/world series ball to russ ortiz and thanked him for winning hte world series for them), his 2003 cubs collapsed in games 6 and 7 of the NLCS, and his 2004 cubs collapsed in the last week plus of the regular season when they had a 1 to 1 1/2 game lead in the wild card heading into a stretch of 3 games vs the terrible essentially AAA new york mets, losing 3 of 4 to the totally AAA cincinnati reds (tho casey, dunn, and kearns are big league players), and now losing the first game to the braves, with dewayne wise (5 HR all last year) and MIKE FUCKING HAMPTON (who is a good hitting pitcher, but still...) each providing two clutch HRs off of his playoff game #1 starter, kerry wood (and not carlos zambrano, their best pitcher all year, mind you) to bury them.

oh and the 5th run, the run that atlanta ended up winniung by in a 5-4 game, came on a botched double play by mark grudzielanek.... ONE DAY AFTER TODD WALKER MADE THE BEST DEFENSIVE PLAY OF HIS LIFE, being clutch in barely throwing out a decent shot up the middle with a runner on third in the top of the 9th with two outs.

oh wait, hampton's a lefty, i forgot that lefties can't bat against lefties. their arm falls out.

anyways, i need to go to bed, i've spent like 30 minutes making this big bad rant, evne tho it says i started at 1:38, so maybe it's 33 mins... half of 66. hell, evil, devil.

well fuck it all, dusty baker is an apologist piece of shit who has no business managing a baseball team... maybe he's a decent coach, someone who can hang around a locker room and be with the guys sippin scotch and being their friend. but you know what? the proactive planner is essentially a doubletalking fraud who is a cancer on the cubs organization and, despite no matter how much talent you have, will always be a giant fucking problem standing in the way of the cubs winning anything significant.

he said that he wanted to get rid of the lovable loser tag on the cubs? well he did it.... now they're loathed chokers. do you realize how many MLB teams are dancing with sheer joy that this bunch of bitches is out of the race? the cardinals, the astros, the braves, the marlins, and im sure a few other teams are too... and its quite unfortunate, because 4 players caused a swirling shitstorm that revolved around the all seeing eye of the storm, the proactive planner, dusty baker.

you know, with or without stoney, i dont think i can ever root for a team that dusty baker manages.

take a second to think about this fact: dusty baker got the giants to game 7 of the world series in 2002. he got them arguably mere outs away from a world championship.

and the giants made ABSOLUTELY NO EFFORT TO RE-SIGN HIM.

felipe alou has a crappy giants team, smoke, mirrors, and 5 career years from people liek JT snow, and they're about to make the playoffs. albeit with barry bonds and jason schmidt.

phil garner has an aging astros team with two starting pitchers, a kid pitching third, and only one dominant bullpen guy. a team who was ~8 games out around the 20th of august. and they're about to make the playoffs.

dusty baker has the most talented team in teh NL, arguably all of baseball. and they're technically still able to, but definitely not going to make the playoffs.

now, we here in chicago know why the giants made not even so much as a flinch in the direction of resigning a ~9 year manager who had winning seasons 7 out of 9 years and got the giants mere outs frm winning the world series.. and they were totally right on that decision. whatever san francisco did, they did in spite of dusty baker. and if the cubs are going to succeed like we all expected/wanted/hoped/dreamed/prayed/begged for, it will, like the giants, be in spite of dusty baker.